Stargazing - Kygo

The Wisdom said, 

"Just take off your mask, and ask for your needs."

My Dreams said, 

"You're killing a part of yourself. You need to resolve issues of the past in order to be able to make a clean, new star for yourself."

She said,
"Don't sacrifice too much for a man. It's time to love yourself. I know your act of love is instinct, but It should be limited. Then think about what happens when you and he break up. The friendship can remain,
...
but May, then he soon gets his own family. Do you think he still can remember who are you, even your face? Don't you think... that too much for your young age?" 

I was dead in silence, "Would he forget me... would he even can't remember anything about me?
as she said." 

I don't know. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't say that she was wrong. She has been going through much more than me. 

"Your relationship is nothing. It has no future, May. So... why you have to sacrifice and suffer too much. Leave it out for the next person," she said. 

... she said, "for the next person"

But, I love him. So I can't accept the thing called "the next person". I even can't think about it. I can't stand before it. 

I didn't tell her, thou. 

All I did was to sweep my tears and kept silent.

I wanted to be stubborn. 

She was not wrong... but, It seems too late to change the thing,as she said. 

I was depending on him too much...

I have loved him so much either... 

I need him...

so,

sorry, 

my sis, 

There is no way to walk back, 

as I can only look back. 

I guess I always feel empty and out of love sometimes...

Because of the pains in the past has reminded me how did I feel

How I have been

How tired I was... And they're still torturing me...

That those things happened

That I need to get out of the past...

But things still take me time... for a while... to feel normal again. 

I guess I should not pretend to feel nothing at all again
...
I should be aware of my limit... I mean... I need to love myself more... like to be honest with my emotion instead of keeping swept it away... I mean... I need to ask more... like being more selfish. 

I don't know, but I just don't want to feel the emptiness inside me again...

Just keep being forgetful and empty... 

...

It makes me sick of myself, sometimes. 

...

I, 

just want to live 

...

as me.