100 letters - Halsey

I love him
It never enough to say how much I love him

I don't know why, sure
The more I know him, the more painful I get, the more disappointed I feel, the better I love him
It's such an irony thing

I'm supposed to give up on him

But how
He said he loves me too
He called me pudding
He talks about our future
He gives me the fantasy

I was infatuated with his love

Every morning I wake up and realize I love him more than yesterday
Every second I look at him or think about him and fall in love with him one more time... or million times
Every day I live to realize that I'm a loser in this relationship

Sometimes I wish that he could love me more than I love him
I guess his love is not enough for me, or his selfishness is excessive, too much for me huh?!!!
However, I am always who was late, the after one
so I deserve those pains, aren't I?
I still don't want...
so I'm supposed to get hurt, to cry, to desperate and craving for his love, aren't I?
I still don't want...
I'm too greedy, aren't I?
I should not be greedy, shouldn't I?

Sorry means nothing when things all go wrong... when no fucking hell can ease my obsession, does it?

I hug myself,

day by day

You shall trust no one...