Let me down slowly - Alec Benjamin

Guys
what else should I do
when no one stands behind me
when I'm alone again,
when my only hope gradually fades away,
and I'm so lost again.

Would it be a good way to hide my thoughts... but it seems bad
I used to fall apart when I against myself,
past and present,
I don't have a lot of trusts, I guess

I need to be empty, to be heartless, need to be so many things,
to live a litter bit longer

sometimes I wonder why this illness can conquer me
and i realize it was not my fault
it was everyone's faults
but no one realizes it except me.

i don't think im out of time, but
someday
I may hear the sound of the clock
"Time up. Game over."

I have only reason to live, and I can't stop being afraid of being an orphan
for whăt I have done to him,
every day,
day...

he would gets mad
he would get bored
he would get sick of me
he would leave
he would out of love with me

and he has gone like he has ever been with me

it's not a pain
neither hurt
for im already dead.